Wedding Reception Protocol

These general guidelines are merely a starting point for planning out your wedding reception. As you put together this part of your wedding day, keep in mind the Golden Rule of Wedding Receptions… the reception is for the guests. You are thanking your guests for all their efforts in being part of your important day and for their importance in your lives and relationship. You are the hosts. This should remain foremost in your mind and should drive all the decisions you make.

A Basic Reception Timeline

Guests arrive to the reception site and are greeted with music, drinks and passed or stationary hors d’oeuvres / 45 – 60 minutes

Bridal party will likely continue on at the ceremony site doing photos

Bridal party arrives at the reception site approximately thirty minutes into the wine or cocktail reception / bride and groom may or may not continue on with photo taking until dinner

Guests are invited to move into the dining room for dinner

Guests will find their proper dinner seating via a seating chart and placecards or with escort cards (in alphabetical order)

Table markers should be clearly visible at each table
(with tables ordered by number or some themed title)

Escort cards will need special setup for outdoor events to avoid getting blown away(tied to a trellis, with weighted ribbons, etc.)

Guests are greeted by a host and music as they enter the dining area / host will address and resolve any seating issues

After all guests are seated, the band or DJ will introduce in the wedding party, then the bride and groom and will then immediately restart the background music for dinner

Once all are seated at the head table, the father–of-the-bride or other important VIP will offer a Welcome Toast

The Welcome Toast can be immediately followed by a Dinner Blessing, if desired

If you are offering multiple choices for all courses or for the entrée, waiters will now take food orders

First Course is served

As first course is being cleared, this is a good time for Toasts

Second Course is served

As second course is being cleared, this is a good time for Toasts

Entrée Course is served

As entrée course is being cleared, bride and groom do their Cake Cutting

Dessert and coffee/tea are served

As guests enjoy the dessert course, DJ or band leader announce Special Dances

Special dances are immediately followed by an uptempo dance set and all guests are encouraged to join in

Some couples like to do special group dances, ethnic dances, bouquet toss, garter toss, etc. Those details can be worked out through your DJ or bandleader.

Ten minutes prior to the end of the event, your DJ or bandleader will announce the Final Dance

Event ends… there are many variations on your grand exit!

Dinner Seating

This will be one of the most difficult tasks of your wedding planning. To ensure that your guests fully enjoy themselves, it is critical that you work through table seating carefully, consulting with close family members when you are unsure of protocol. Seating should be based on these principles (in order of priority):

1) Seat guests near to those with whom they will be most comfortable
2) Seat guests near to those with whom they share common interests, or with their family and/or friends
3) Seat guests with special challenges next to those that can properly support them

You also need to organize the dining table configuration in a way that will minimize conflict and awkwardness between groups of people that either do not get along, could potentially not get along, do not know each other, or who have little in common.

If there are daunting family scenarios that could make traditional seating arrangements impractical, considering taking the approach of having your “problem” couples or individuals “host” a special table. Sometimes this extra responsibility encourages people to be on their best behavior and makes the need to shift them away from the head table or a particular family table less noticeable. In cases where there are two sets of parents on either the bride’s or the groom’s side, this is an excellent way to avert unpleasantness.

The Head Table

The head table can either be a long king’s table with all facing out toward the guest tables or as is more common in the region, it can be a large round table, set in the middle on the dining area, with all other tables positioned around it. Typically the head table has just the bride and groom with their wedding party and spouses. At larger weddings, the head table can also include parents, grandparents and siblings. The wedding couple is typically in the middle of the length of the table, with the bride to the groom’s right.

There are many correct ways to configure the head table or the tradition can be skipped altogether. With destination weddings, where guests have come from long distances and especially if many guests do not know each other well, it is nice to have your bridal party sprinkled around the dining area, acting as secondary hosts.

Toasts

Toasts can be done by anyone you like! Bridal party, parents, siblings, etc.

It is highly recommended that you set a time limit with those you invite to do toasts and we also recommend that you not have “open mike” toasting. Open toasts encourage inappropriate behavior and can also affect the timing of your dinner service. You are paying good money for your catering. Be sure that long-winded toasts don’t ruin your medium rare filet mignon!

Common question… do you toast with champagne or can you use wine? Your choice! Both are appropriate. You may choose not to disrupt your perfectly paired wines and multi-course dinner by introducing champagne in the middle of the meal. If you’re wanting to incorporate champagne, save it for your dessert course, where is pairs up beautifully with your gourmet wedding cake. Champagne is also great for your hors d’oeuvres hour and a traditional welcome drink in this region.

Special Dances

The three most common special dances are Bride-Groom, then Father-Daughter, followed by Mother-Son. If you want to do more, no problem… it’s up to you to come up with the other configurations. Just be sure you don’t leave the other guests sitting there for too long… get them out on the dance floor!

Cake Cutting

The DJ or bandleader will draw guest attention to the couple at their wedding cake. Your planner or caterer will have a plate, forks and cake cutting utensils set up next to the cake, all ready for you. There is noright way to cut the cake! Just get the knife in there and go for it!

Who actually cuts the cake… the bride or the groom? That’s your problem to sort out!

How are you supposed to feed it to each other… with forks, your fingers? Also your problem!

This part of the evening is good for a few laughs, so don’t ruin it by planning or staging this part of the evening. Do make sure your videographer and/or photographer are in place to catch some fun pictures.

And by the way, it is not your responsibility to cut the cake into servings for all your guests. As obvious as that may sound, some couples imagine having to do this! Your caterer will whisk the cake off to the kitchen for plating once all the photos are done.

Photography courtesy of Carter Brookes and Lawrence Lauterborn.

For more information on our wedding services, please contact Christina Andrews at Chris@NapaWeddingSource.com or (707) 225-1862