One of the anxieties you may have before your wedding day, besides the expectations which goes with it, includes coming up with your list of the wedding entourage, a.k.a. the bridesmaids. To be sure, there would be plenty of women who are more than willing to rush by your side when the day comes that you should tie the knot, but the reality is that not everyone can be accommodated in your list.
This is dependent on so many factors, that you may find it particularly difficult to deal with your friends and relatives’ requests, for the honor of being one of your selected few clique of bridesmaids. You shouldn’t fret, however, as this task is manageable enough, once you really get to know how to deal with it.
You’ll have to gauge the size of your wedding. Whether you’re going for an intimate gathering or a glorious church ceremony with 500 guests, you’ll need to keep your group at a size appropriate for the ceremony. The rule of thumb is that you have one bridesmaid or groomsman for every fifty guests, although you can still break the rules and walk the aisle in full force.
Since there are close friends and relatives also involved in the selection, you may also feel like walking on eggshells in your effort to come up with a final list; in order to prevent hurt feelings come your big day, it is better to include those within your tight circle of friends and family. It is also better to keep the group small so you’ll have less people agreeing on a dress, less body types to deal with, and consequently less token offerings for you to provide.
Finances are also an issue, unless you are perfectly comfortable and capable of paying for all of your bridesmaids’ needs. Otherwise, you’ll have to be sensitive with their financial issues, and show your sincerest appreciation of their support. If you just can’t do without a particular candidate, you may offer to cover for her dress, so as to ease her burden.
Empathetic compromise is also a must for friends with hectic schedules, or for those who are living in distant locations. You may also feel compelled to affirm an unsolicited offering for a slot in your list, but it is your wedding and you shouldn’t be. Keep in mind how she would feel if she was in your place, and do what you think is best.
Make sure that your list is final and complete before you send out your invitations; etiquette dictates that you should not ‘fire’ your bridesmaid, unless on special circumstances, such as if she gets pregnant or ill, and would not be able to fulfill her duties come wedding day. Run through the list several times, ensuring that those included in it are those who will stick with you and for your welfare in the marriage, no matter what.
Once you have your final roster, have fun and spread the word! You can let them in on your secret (thus far) in many ways; from a simple phone call to an intimate dinner, make sure that you get the most out of the announcement. After all, this experience rarely happens in a woman’s lifetime. You should let them know how much you mean to them, particularly in this special moment in your life.