What Are The Duties of a Best Man and Maid of Honor

"Be sure your attendants, especially the best man and maid of honor, understand the time and commitment their roles entail, as well as the personal expense."

By Robbin Montero

You've chosen a life partner, now it's time to pick a best man and maid of honor. Whether filled by a brother, sister, best friend since kindergarten or college roommate, the roles of best man and maid of honor are positions of responsibility bestowed on beloved individuals.

Be sure your attendants, especially the best man and maid of honor, understand the time and commitment their roles entail, as well as the personal expense.

Pre-wedding

There is much to be done leading up to the wedding and on the wedding day. You've explained this to your friends and they're delighted to accept. “Let's get started,” they say. So, schedule an appointment for the maid of honor to help you pick the perfect bridesmaids' dresses. The groom and his best man will choose the style of tuxedos–okay, perhaps with a little input from the bride.

Now the good stuff: parties! The maid of honor will attend all pre-wedding showers and parties given for the bride. Increasingly popular, couples showers are also attended by both the best man and maid of honor, and their significant others. Your top attendants are responsible for planning and financing any bachelor or bachelorette parties to be held. The maid of honor will also help address invitations and make favors for the reception. They participate in the wedding rehearsal.

Finally, the best man and maid of honor facilitate selection of a joint wedding gift from all attendants. Once the amount and gift is decided, they collect the money and are responsible for making the gift purchase.

The ceremony

The big day has arrived. The mission of your attendants is to “get you to the church on time!” They help you dress and prepare for the ceremony. The best man is in charge of arranging transportation to and from the church. If there is no ring bearer, the maid of honor wears the groom's ring on her finger. The best man carries the bride's ring in his pocket. The best man and maid of honor act as witnesses to your marriage, signing the license to verify they heard the spoken vows and witnessed the ceremony.

At an appropriate time, the best man presents the checks to the clergy and church organist. He doesn't assume the financial responsibility, just delivers the envelopes!

The reception and beyond

The ceremony is over and the guests have gathered at the reception. If the wedding has a large receiving line, your attendants will stand with you and your parents. The best man and maid of honor act as host and hostess at the reception, cordially greeting guests, dancing and mingling. Both the best man and maid of honor toast the happy couple. The best man may also act as master of ceremonies. If there is a money dance, the best man starts by dancing with the bride, while the maid of honor dances with the groom.

When the newlyweds prepare to leave for the honeymoon, the maid of honor assists the bride in changing and checks the dressing areas for forgotten items. Hopefully, the best man and maid of honor remembered to decorate the car—that's part of the fun. The best man may even drive the couple to the wedding night destination himself.

The next day, even as your attendants are savoring their own favorite memories of the wedding, the best man must remember to return rented tuxedos to the store. The wedding is over, but your day was more special and memorable because your friends were there to help and share in your special day. That, readers, is what friends are for.

Robbin Montero is a wedding coordinator and special events planner in Northern California.

©2007 Robbin Montero
707-579-5886
www.a-dreamwedding.com

This article cannot be reprinted without Robbin Montero's expressed written permission.

Photography: Blondin Photo